Plain language – it doesn’t have to be boring

There are some writers in the world who don’t merely love words, they have acquired logolepsy (which also means a love of words – but this is a lofty kind of love). These people aren’t simply signed up to word-of-the-day emails – but to something like this http://highvocabulary.wordsof.org/, so that they can learn words like ‘gormless’, ‘minatory’ or ‘oleaginous’.

These lexiphanes (people who use really long words – or rather, eschew monosyllabic iterations) also tend to memorise a few showy Latin phrases to pepper into their writing. ‘Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur’ (everything sounds more impressive when said in Latin), after all.

But enough of that – the point I’m getting at is this: If you’re trying to impress an academic at an intellectual conference, then sure, use your verbose language. But if your main aim is to write copy that communicates with the public – you should aim to be understood by as many people as possible.

That’s where plain language comes in.

Now don’t get the wrong idea – plain language doesn’t all mean simplistic, ‘dumbed-down’ or boring language. It simply means language that is straightforward, clear and precise – language that has had all the unnecessarily complicated words chopped out. It can still be vibrant and exciting – using strong, visual words – without being complicated.

As copywriters, we should be creating content that connects people to the information they want, right? So it makes sense that we should make it easy for people to understand.

‘The key to making things understandable is to understand what it’s like not to understand,’  said Richard Saul Wurman, an American architect, graphic designer and pioneer in the practice of making information easily understandable – a very wise man.

So what is the best way to make your content easy to understand? It’s simple – use everyday words that your audience can understand the first time they read it.

Think of long, complex words as hurdles in the race to understanding. Using simpler words doesn’t mean you’re insulting your readers’ intelligence – it just emphasises clarity above formality.

In conclusion, the only apodictic method for avoiding misapprehensions of Brobdingnagian proportions is appropriating plain language!

Plain language is the way forward, because:

Also In Vino Veritas, Carpe Diem and all of those good things. 

Since when did everyone become a foodie?

The year 2012 ended innocently enough, the world was as it should be and everything was in its rightful place. But then the sun rose on 2013 – and everything changed!  Suddenly and inexplicably everyone was a foodie. Friends, family, acquaintances and co-workers all fell prey to the craze, taking up arms in the culinary crusade and, quite frankly, I worry for them.

Because I DO NOT think it’s okay to think that a dark chocolate, citrus infused pigeon is ever okay.

I have a strict policy: I DO NOT eat at restaurants that serve saffron anything, or have the words “Balsamic reduction” or “deconstructed” on the menu.

I find this kind of cooking disdainfully avant-garde. Yes, yes, I’m a pleb. I like baked potato and steak. I do not appreciate food like this:

Apple caviar with Banana foam. Lychee Bubbles filled with Sage Vapour on Oysters. Chocolate mousse infused with Tobacco and quail eggs cooked at three different temperatures for three hours. (WHY?)

I want to draw your attention to this website: http://stuffycheaks.blogspot.com/2011/02/16-course-molecular-gastronomy-tasting.html

It presents us with an example of a 16-course molecular-gastronomy-tasting menu (I’ll come back to that molecular gastronomy part in a paragraph or two). But after reading through their menu, I feel I need to ask the chef a few questions:

1. What in the name of normalcy is a sweet and sour tangerine veil?
2. What, pray tell, is bacon dust?
3. And who on this holy earth mixes compressed watermelon, mango 'egg yolk' and dehydrated capers?

As promised, lets take a look at that phrase, “Molecular Gastronomy”, which is described as follows: a whole new emotional and sensory experience of eating, serving dishes such as crab ice cream and snail porridge. If I were served crab ice cream, I guarantee you I’d definitely have a whole new emotional experience (and it wouldn’t be good!) Other treats include Mango Ravioli, edible sea sand foam, parsley champagne and frozen Parmesan air.

I have another strict restaurant policy: I don’t eat at restaurants called “The Singing Avocado” or “The Purple Orange” or “The Pirouetting Pig”. Names like this just confuse me. No, I eat at simple restaurants with self-explanatory names like “The Meat Company”, “The Punjab Chicken King” or “Jimmy’s Killer Prawns”. No confusion there!

You know exactly what you’re getting. And you can be sure their menus do not boast: Smoked Reindeer, smothered in a Spicy emulsion of fois gras and jasmine infused air, floating gracefully down a babbling brook of balsamic reduction, shrouded in a veil of tart strawberry foam, nestled in a pillow of aromatic anchovy soufflé, sprinkled with a fine pork rind dust and doused in a beetroot champagne.

Green Pea Jelly & Egg:

Would you eat this?

Grilled Watermelon Salad:

How is this a salad?